I can’t tell you where Iona University is located. In fact, I don’t even know if it’s “Iona University” or “Iona College” or “Iona Chrysler.” What I can tell you is that I had picked them to win their playoff game last night and that they apparently sent two different basketball teams to the same tournament game against BYU.
The first team, in the first half, scored fifty-five points and led by as much as twenty-five points. During half-time, they switched teams. Now, they may have been using the same bodies in the second half, but they were not the same team.
The team that came out on the floor after the half-time break missed at least eleven consecutive shots and scored a grand total of fifteen points in the second half. They fumbled the ball away, gave the ball away, kicked the ball away, passed the ball away. I haven’t seen that many turnovers since Simmons’ Bakery closed.
Although it hardly seems possible, Iona’s shooting was even worse. They threw up brick after brick after brick, mostly from twenty to thirty feet away and with no one in the immediate vicinity of the basket so as to offer some hope of an offensive rebound. Which, in retrospect, didn’t really matter, either; they also couldn’t hit a short jumper, a runner or a layup.
Granted, Brigham Young University played tough defense. Apparently, the Iona team somehow played its way to the verge of the NCAA tournament without ever having encountered a two-three zone. Actually, they looked like they’d never encountered a defense of any kind.
Nor, apparently, had anyone ever explained to them that it was permissible to penetrate, pass and shoot close shots. They kept throwing up those threes as if the wrath of God would fall upon them if they did anything else.
It was so maddening that I began to wonder if I was watching a parable of my life!